Don't 'Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway'

'Feel the fear and do it anyway'.

It's a catchy phrase popularised by author Susan Jeffers in her book of the same name. This advice is designed to inspire people to conquer the anxiety, fear and doubt that prevent a happy and satisfying life.

But, this statement is a misleading and oversimplistic instruction for coping with difficulties. This method can even cause real damage when tackling serious psychological issues like anxiety disorders.

So let's look into the potential pitfalls of this advice along with the alternatives.

Fear And Avoidance

Avoidance is a common (and understandable) response to intense fear or anxiety.

This behaviour occurs because we get short-term relief by steering clear of the anxiety trigger. This respite gives the impression that you're on to a winning strategy. But, this relief never lasts. So, we must use avoidance repeatedly.

Frequent avoidance creates new problems (e.g., relationship damage, delaying important tasks). Eventually, you end up in a worse situation through a downward spiral of increasing anxiety and avoidance. Moreover, avoidance blocks the opportunity to test and disprove fearful predictions.

Facing The Fear

Yes, the answer to the downward spiral of fear and avoidance is to face the fear. But we must carefully plan and control this 'exposure'.

The phrase 'feel the fear and do it anyway' is well-intentioned but overly simplistic. It does not convey the importance of a planned approach. It also fails to provide realistic solutions for dealing with fear or anxiety.

Pushing through fear unprepared can leave us helpless and generate even more distress. Feel the fear and do it anyway also ignores the importance of self-compassion in managing difficult emotions. These abilities are essential for building resilience over time.

It would be great if we could dive in and conquer fear without thinking. But life is not that simple. Instead, you need a methodical approach using anxiety management strategies for long-term success.

The Brain And Learning

Mild to moderate stress creates the best environment for the brain to learn and re-wire itself. Too much stress will overwhelm the body, sending it into survival mode. Your brain cannot switch into growth mode when threatened in this way. Thus, 'diving in the deep end' is not a great idea for facing fears.

The solution is graded exposure combined with anxiety management.

The Alternative Approach

The key steps involved in graded exposure include:

Develop anxiety management strategies. These range from breathing retraining to cognitive strategies (e.g., identifying and evaluating anxious thoughts).
List all the things that trigger anxiety that you want to tackle.
Rank these behaviours and situations from least to most threatening.
Enter the least scary scenario and remain there until the anxiety reduces significantly.
Repeat this 'exposure' many times until most of the anxiety has been eliminated.
Move on to the next item on the list and repeat steps 4 and 5.
Keep moving up the hierarchy until completed.

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), mindfulness meditation, and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) are effective for overcoming fears.

We take graded exposure from CBT. This method focuses on challenging unhelpful thought patterns and behaviours that lead to feelings of worry, unease or panic. It helps people identify irrational beliefs about themselves that cause distress, replacing them with more helpful ones. CBT is also used to identify and eliminate behaviours that keep anxiety going (e.g., avoidance).
Mindfulness meditation is another useful treatment tool. This approach encourages people to pay attention to their thoughts, feelings and bodily sensations without being caught up in them.
Acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) is a third approach to overcoming fear. ACT focuses on helping people to stop suppressing difficult emotions. Skills are taught to promote psychological flexibility. This process involves taking notice of difficult psychological states, keeping in the present moment, and taking actions consistent with life values.

Summary

Yes, we do need to face up to fear and anxiety. But the approach must be planned, carefully structured, and supported by evidence-based anxiety management skills.

Many people unintentionally make matters worse by leaping into the deep end, facing situations without adequate preparation.

Some people need to work with a qualified professional to develop an approach to anxiety that sets them up for long-term success. With a little planning, people can make great progress with their fears.

Dec 5 Please Don't 'Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway'