Challenges in stopping porn addiction
Pornography raises all sorts of moral, relationship and health issues. But, this article focuses on the topic of porn addiction. I discuss the signs and causes of this problem, and what you can do about it.
Porn Addiction Withdrawal
To understand pornography addiction and withdrawal, we first need to look at the concept of behavioural addictions.
Many are aware of addiction to drugs and alcohol. People around the world struggle with substance abuse and dependence. These can be dangerous problems consuming the lives of millions. Drug use disorders have the following signs (1):
Craving the substance
Taking the substance in larger amounts (or for longer) than intended
Wanting to cut down but having little/no success in doing so
Continuing to use the substance when it causes major problems in life (relationships, work, etc.)
Neglecting important areas of life (e.g., childcare) because of substance use.
Substance use disorders are widely recognised conditions. However, behaviour addiction is a more controversial topic (2).
Despite this, many mental health professionals say people are hooked on many behaviours. Gambling, shopping and sex addiction to name a few. What's more, there are many similarities between behavioural and substance addiction. Addictive behaviour involves craving and a strong desire to engage in acts (e.g., watching porn). These urges feel out of control, resulting in mounting negative consequences (3).
In the context of internet pornography, a behavioural addiction will involve a strong craving to watch porn, watching more porn than intended, and a sense of this behaviour being out of hand. Moreover, this behaviour continues even as significant problems pile up.
Am I addicted to porn?
You don't necessarily have a pornography addiction just because you watch porn. Viewing pornography online is common, especially amongst men (4). However, there is cause for concern when this behaviour starts to dominate AND mess up your life.
Be wary of an online porn addiction test or quiz. Assessing addiction is a complex process that should be conducted by a professional. However, there are key indicators to watch:
Spending increasing amounts of time watching porn
Watching more porn than intended
Wanting to stop watching but unable to do so
Mounting pressure or craving to view pornographic content
Daily life becoming more focused on watching porn (e.g., looking for opportunities to view)
Becoming distressed, frustrated, anxious, or angry when you can't watch porn.
Neglecting important areas of life due to watching porn
A negative impact on your personal and/or working life
People (if they know) tell you to reduce or stop viewing.
Professional help may be required if you experience several of these indicators for several months or longer.
Seeking help is not easy, and porn addiction sometimes comes with additional shame or embarrassment. However, us experienced mental health professionals are usually familiar with these issues and can guide you through the process.
Why should we care about porn addiction?
Porn addiction is not just a moral issue. Addiction causes pain and suffering in many areas of life (5). Friends and family also pay a high price for this problem. In addition, compulsive pornography viewing may link to mental health problems (6) and sexual difficulties like erectile dysfunction (7). Mounting costs persist as long as this issue dominates your life.
Porn addiction statistics
Accurate porn addiction statistics are hard to come by. One reason is the desire to keep this issue secret. Furthermore, there is no simple medical test to diagnose porn addiction. The percentage of people who experience problems related to porn viewing vary from around 1 to 10% (8).
Why is porn addictive?
Can't stop watching porn? There are reasons why you can't kick the habit. The addiction process is a complex one that develops over some time. We also have biological (e.g., brain changes), psychological (e.g., unhelpful beliefs), and social factors (e.g., relationship difficulties) feeding into this issue.
One view of addiction (9) outlines a three-stage process:
The behaviour causes initial 'intoxication' through activation of the brain's reward system. The 'feel good' effect keeps the behaviour (watching porn) going.
Eventually, the feel good chemicals start to run out. This depletion creates a negative psychological state. Porn viewing becomes used to avoid this negative state. You need to do more watching to get the same effect/buzz.
Craving (to watch porn) emerges. Many brain regions are affected, which reduces self-control and strengthens the addiction.
How to quit porn
"Just stop watching porn!" It's not that easy, especially if you have an addiction to pornography. We have described this process in the last section. But, porn sites are also working hard to draw you in and keep you spending time online.
There is no treatment shortcut. A porn addiction app is no silver bullet. Behavioural addictions require professional treatment plans. There may be a strong temptation to find your own coping mechanisms. But, extra help is needed if you don't make the desired progress. Treatment centers are probably not available, so individual sessions may be your best treatment option.
Psychological treatment targets the factors that cause and maintain porn addiction. One effective approach is Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT). Essentially, CBT targets thoughts and behaviours behind an addiction. This intervention is 'evidence based' or backed up by high-quality research.
Behaviour is a crucial focus in addiction treatment. You watch porn for a reason. In other words, this behaviour has a 'function'. A typical function of porn viewing is the reduction of unpleasant or negative mood states (e.g., boredom, frustration). Understanding behaviour function helps us to replace porn with less damaging behaviours.
Experienced professionals often add additional skills to a treatment package. These might include:
Environmental management (e.g., blocking access to porn)
Addressing lifestyle factors (e.g., increased use of meaningful activities)
Emotion management and tolerance of negative thoughts/feelings
Telling someone to 'just stop watching' is over-simplifying the problem. Effective treatment address the many psychological and neurological causes of addiction.
How to help someone with a porn addiction
Here are a few tips if you know someone who is struggling with this issue:
There's lots of misinformation, so be informed. Seek reliable, professional advice on porn addiction.
Understand your own stance on porn. Shaming people makes matters worse and discourages treatment seeking. You are entitled to be against pornography. Just be aware that these objections may lead to unhelpful comments or advice.
Encourage treatment seeking where porn viewing is causing serious problems and/or distress. Focus on the benefits of successful intervention.
Good listening skills can be a real help to those struggling with psychological issues or mental health conditions. Here is an article on active listening.
More on withdrawal
Most people are familiar with the concept of drug withdrawal. This is a process where the person experiences unpleasant bodily symptoms as it reacts physically and psychologically to the absence of a substance. Some have argued that brain changes that occur in drug addition are similar for those who develop sexual additictions (10). In line with this, cravings and other withdrawal symptoms have been reported by people who quit watching porn (11).
Porn addiction books
Here are a couple of books if you want to read more about this topic:
Your brain on porn, by Gary Wilson.
Treating pornography addiction, by Kevin Skinner
Summary
Internet porn has been with us for many years. Pornography addiction shares similarities with drug addiction and develops through biological, psychological and social factors. Excessive, uncontrolled viewing that causes major problems in day-to-day life are core signs of addiction. While reaching out for help might be tough, effective treatment is available.
We are Coaching & Clinical Psychologist with extensive experience helping people conquer a range of wellbeing and performance issues at home and in the workplace. Read more about our work, watch practical skills videos or browse other articles. Get in touch anytime.
References
(1) DSM-V
(2) https://www.verywellmind.com/dsm-5-criteria-for-substance-use-disorders-21926
(3) https://www.jpsychopathol.it/wp-content/uploads/2015/12/12_Art_ORIGINALE_Pinna1.pdf
(4) https://www.statista.com/chart/16959/share-of-the-internet-that-is-porn/
(5) Grubbs, J. B., & Kraus, S. W. (2021). Pornography Use and Psychological Science: A Call for Consideration. Current Directions in Psychological Science, 30(1), 68–75.
(6) Camilleri C, Perry JT, Sammut S. Compulsive Internet Pornography Use and Mental Health: A Cross-Sectional Study in a Sample of University Students in the United States. Front Psychol. 2021 Jan 12;11:613244. doi: 10.3389/fpsyg.2020.613244.
(7) Park, B. Y., Wilson, G., Berger, J., Christman, M., Reina, B., Bishop, F., Klam, W. P., & Doan, A. P. (2016). Is Internet Pornography Causing Sexual Dysfunctions? A Review with Clinical Reports. Behavioral Sciences, 6(3), 17.
(8) de Alarcón, R., de la Iglesia, J. I., Casado, N. M., & Montejo, A. L. (2019). Online Porn Addiction: What We Know and What We Don't-A Systematic Review. Journal of clinical medicine, 8(1), 91. https://doi.org/10.3390/jcm8010091
(9) Volkow, N.D.; Wang, G.-J.; Fowler, J.S.; Tomasi, D.; Telang, F. Addiction: Beyond dopamine reward circuitry. Proc. Natl. Acad. Sci. 2011, 108, 15037–15042.
(10) Love, T., Laier, C., Brand, M., Hatch, L., & Hajela, R. (2015). Neuroscience of Internet Pornography Addiction: A Review and Update. Behavioral sciences (Basel, Switzerland), 5(3), 388–433.
(11) Fernandez, D.P., Kuss, D.J. & Griffiths, M.D. The Pornography “Rebooting” Experience: A Qualitative Analysis of Abstinence Journals on an Online Pornography Abstinence Forum. Arch Sex Behav 50, 711–728 (2021).
Note on spelling:
US- behavioral addiction
UK and elsewhere- behavioural addiction