Five Strategies To Get A Girlfriend

The Top 5 Things You Need to Do to Get a Girlfriend

Many guys are looking for a girlfriend but don't know where to start. If you're one of those guys, don't worry - We've got you covered.

Here are the top five things you must do to want a girlfriend.

1. Make sure you're ready for a relationship.

This may seem like an obvious one, but it's worth mentioning.

Many guys think they want a girlfriend when they are really attracted to the idea of having a girlfriend. Before you start actively looking for a relationship, ensure you're ready for one. Ask yourself whether you will make the necessary compromises and sacrifices to be in a committed relationship. If the answer is no, you're better off waiting until you are ready.

Best not to force the process of finding a girlfriend until ready.


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2. Get out there and meet people.

If you are ready to find love, you must spend time on this goal. One of the biggest mistakes guys make is waiting for someone to come to them. But to find someone special, you must get out and meet new people.

Join a club or take up a new hobby - anything that will help you meet new people who share your interests. Alternatively, put yourself in public spaces (e.g., coffee shop) where there is potential to strike up a conversation (in a non-creepy way).

Initially, it may be best to focus on meeting anyone new, not specifically a partner. This can take some pressure off your quest to meet women. A sole focus on how to attract women can lead to uncomfortable behaviours and undue pressure on yourself.

Here are some additional tips on meeting people.

3. Brush up communication and social skills

The fundamentals of good communication are not rocket science.

Positive body language (e.g., open stance, eye contact), showing interest, asking questions, and active listening. These are all part of the success skillset. Making someone feel important and comfortable (e.g., not initiating physical contact inappropriately) is vital when searching for a partner.

Over-stepping the mark is out of order but may also get you friend zoned very quickly.

4. Seek additional support

Relationships are tricky. Social skills don't come easily to some (e.g., starting a conversation) and social anxiety is very common. Some people really benefit from working with a relationship or dating coach. Talking to girls (or people in general) does not come easily for many guys. So, extra support can be a great strategy.

Many psychological issues (e.g., low self esteem) can get in the way of meeting a potential girlfriend. A skilled professional can help you uncover and deal with these problems.

Alternatively, asking reliable friends and family for feedback on how you come across can help identify areas for development.

Here’s a helpful book on social skills development by Daniel Wendler.

5. Be yourself

This last piece of advice may be the most important one of all. It's tempting to put on a false persona to impress others. But ultimately, being genuine and authentic will always be more successful in the long run. Most people can detect fakes (inauthenticity), and your true self will eventually have to be revealed.

In reality, being yourself is very hard to achieve. There’s lots of social pressure to be certain things. Feeling more comfortable with who you are (at any point in time) is a gradual process.

Summary

So there you have it - the three things you must do to get a girlfriend. Just remember: take your time, get out there and meet new people, and most importantly, be yourself! With these tips in mind, you can succeed in your quest for love.

Further reading:


We are Coaching & Clinical Psychologists with extensive experience helping people conquer a range of wellbeing and performance issues at home and in the workplace. We can also help with relationship challenges. Read more about our work, watch practical skills videos or browse other articles. Get in touch anytime.


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