Hate the way you look?
I Hate The Way I Look
Learning to love how you look isn’t always easy. Society has always placed importance on physical appearance. It is easy to have negative thoughts about appearance. For example, we make initial judgements about people based on facial features (1).
Appearance preferences have changed over time (e.g., body shape, clothing) (2). But, our look is still judged against a set of standards. Many people feel compelled to chase the perfect body.
Societal emphasis on physical appearance has many influences. These factors include evolution, the media, cultural norms, and personal variables (e.g., personality, life events, opinions of friends and family) (3).
Traditional and social media is often mentioned. Research suggests media may shape people's views of an "acceptable" body. (4). For example, thin-figured celebrities may give the impression that this is the ideal body type.
Different standards apply to males and females. A tall and muscular man is valued in many societies. Alternatively, a thin female body has often been promoted. In addition, the 'rules' of appearance and clothing are more strict for males than females (5).
In addition, cultural norms and personal experiences may contribute to attitudes towards physical appearance. A person may believe acceptance depends on having the 'right' appearance when looks are valued growing up.
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Ugly Person?
People can be unhappy with their overall appearance, or a specific feature (e.g. nose).
It is difficult to estimate how many people don't like how they look. Rates of poor body image fluctuate between 10 to 69% (6). However, younger people are particularly prone to feeling insecure about their appearance (7).
Some people will develop serious psychological difficulties around (distorted) body image. All these conditions are associated with extreme behaviours intended to manage perceived flaws. We also need to be on the look out for wider problems, such as self-loathing.
For example, Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD) is a condition where a person spends a lot of time worrying about perceived flaws. The person will spend large amounts of time trying to 'fix' this flaw. We also see:
Lots of time spent comparing looks to other people
Going to great effort to hide perceived flaws
People with BDD tend to fixate on one or more perceived flaws. This focus has a negative impact on daily life. Normal body image concerns do not typically interfere with a person's life.
The prevalence of BDD ranges between 0.7 to 2.4% (8). This may seem like a low percentage. But, these rates translate to millions of people in a country the size of the US or UK.
People can also be diagnosed with an eating disorder, such as anorexia nervosa and bulimia nervosa. This condition mostly affects women at rates of between 3.3 to 18.6% (9):
Anorexia: Excessive focus on weight control by not eating enough. This focus can also involve too much exercise.
Bulimia: Loss of control over eating (binge eating). This is followed by extreme behaviours to lose weight or prevent weight gain.
These body image conditions may have various causes. For example, bullying, low self-esteem, and genetics could play a role (10).
You should always seek professional help for these serious issues.
I Hate My Body
It never feels good to hate your appearance. But, help is available for this issue.
Cognitive behaviour therapy (CBT) is a type of therapy used to treat body image concerns. CBT can help people to identify and address problematic thought patterns. Learn more about these techniques on the Skills Videos page.
Distorted thoughts are often behind assumptions of physical flaws. We use several techniques to help people think rationally.
CBT also promotes increased awareness and the use of positive behaviours.
Thomas Cash has written a helpful workbook to improve body image.
We are Coaching & Clinical Psychologists with extensive experience helping people conquer a range of wellbeing and performance issues at home and in the workplace. We can also help with self-image concerns. Read more about our work, watch practical skills videos or browse other articles. Get in touch anytime.
References
(1) Zebrowitz, L. A., & Montepare, J. M. (2008). Social Psychological Face Perception: Why Appearance Matters. Social and personality psychology compass, 2(3), 1497. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1751-9004.2008.00109.x
(2) https://www.scienceofpeople.com/beauty-standards/
(3) https://www.washingtonpost.com/archive/lifestyle/wellness/1987/01/27/beauty-through-history/301f7256-0f6b-403e-abec-f36c0a3ec313/
(4) Lin, CL., Yeh, JT. Comparing Society's Awareness of Women: Media-Portrayed Idealized Images and Physical Attractiveness. J Bus Ethics 90, 61 (2009). https://doi.org/10.1007/s10551-009-0026-z
(5) Lindemuth, Caroline J.; Thomas, Lindsey A.; Mates, Hadley A.; and Casey, Jenessa A. (2011) "Gender
patterns in dress and outward appearance: an individual choice or fulfillment of cultural expectations?,"
Modern Psychological Studies: Vol. 17 : No. 1 , Article 5
(6) Quittkat et al. (2019). Body dissatisfaction, importance of appearance, and body appreciation in men and women over the lifespan. Frontiers in Psychiatry, 10. doi: 10.3389/fpsyt.2019.00864
(7) https://yougov.co.uk/topics/health/articles-reports/2021/08/05/physical-appearance-todays-society
(8) Bjornsson, A. S., Didie, E. R., & Phillips, K. A. (2010). Body dysmorphic disorder. Dialogues in clinical neuroscience, 12(2), 221–232. https://doi.org/10.31887/DCNS.2010.12.2/abjornsson
(9) https://cks.nice.org.uk/topics/eating-disorders/background-information/prevalence/
(10) https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/body-dysmorphic-disorder-bdd/causes/