Attention seeking quotes

Quotes About Attention-Seeking....And More

There are two types of people in this world: those who want to know, and those who want to be known. Unknown 

We only shout when we neglect what silence can do.   Ernest Agyemang Yeboah

Service over selfies, that is life for the unselfish.   Abhijit Naskar

You will never gain anyone’s approval by begging for it Mandy Hale

What is attention-seeking?

Quotes about attention-seekers are just the start of this topic.

Attention seeking involves efforts to become the focus of other people. This behaviour can occur anywhere (e.g., informal conversation, family parties and Christmases).

To achieve this, someone will try to stand out in what they say and do. These 'salient' behaviours include anything from shouting and being controversial to stretching the truth or making big physical movements. Not all acts are a brilliant attention-seeking ploy. But many attention-grabbing behaviours exist.

What causes this behaviour?

There are numerous reasons for attention-seeking. Some examples include:

  • Strong emotions (e.g., jealousy, excitement).

  • Low self-esteem

  • Social discomfort (e.g., not knowing how to start a conversation).

  • Perceived expectations of others (e.g., I must get the attention of people to be liked, I'm no longer interesting if I don't do something crazy).

  • Social approval. (e.g., 'performing' for people in seeking their approval)

  • Personality issues (e.g., narcissism).

  • The social media world can create pressure to stand out.

It's best to avoid over-simplified explanations (e.g., the person is empty and trying to fill a gap in their life). You are unlikely to know the cause of attention-seeking. There's not much use in speculating. Best to focus your energy on managing your response.

There is no formal diagnosis for attention-seeking behaviour. However, it is often seen as a symptom of other psychological issues and diagnoses, such as narcissism or histrionic personality disorder. 

Several theoretical perspectives can explain attention-seeking behaviour:

Operant conditioning

Operant conditioning suggests that patterns of triggers and consequences increase attention-seeking. For instance, people laugh with approval (consequence) when someone starts dancing at a meeting (trigger). 

Social learning

Social learning theory suggests that we learn attention-seeking through observation and imitation.

Cognitive theories 

Cognitive theories suggest that attention-seeking behaviour results from thinking patterns. For example, 'I must be the centre of attention to be liked'.

The stigma of attention-seeking 

This behaviour has a bad reputation. Not many people willingly say 'Call me an attention-seeker'. The perceptions of attention seekers are generally negative. This is because attention seekers are viewed as people with an unbridled degree of self-focus and selfishness.

Additionally, attention seekers often dominate conversations. This pattern can be frustrating for others. 

While it's easy to react negatively, attention-seeking is not always malicious. Instead, this behaviour may reflect an underlying psychological difficulty (e.g., low self-esteem). 

How can I tell when someone is attention-seeking? 

The description above provides some signs of attention-seeking. Other indicators include:

  • Frequently talking about themselves

  • Always needing to be the centre of attention

  • Wanting to be correct

  • Always needing to be in control

Of course, attention-seeking may be part of a broader psychological or personality issue.

How should I respond to someone who is attention-seeking? 

Here are some things to try when around an attention seeker: 

  • Consider the option to walk away. While not always possible, this is a straightforward way to avoid this behaviour.

  • Ignore the behaviour if you can. It can seem difficult to pay less attention. However, strong emotions sometimes hold us in a situation. Try focusing on other aspects of an interaction (e.g., behaviour of others).

  • Give a positive response to non-attention-seeking behaviour. For example, tell the person you appreciate them asking about your family.

  • Try to avoid any strong reactions to the behaviour.

  • If appropriate, you may want to talk to the person about the effect of their behaviour. This can be a tough task, so you want to feel confident about doing this calmly and constructively.

  • Try to take a step back and try to understand why the person is seeking attention. This can help you 'psychologically detach' and come up with other responses.


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